The Elegance has had a very quiet OmniGalactic season. He has not been able to use any of his classic taunts because of a two-week absence for a vacation and missing three weeks because of illness.
But the Great One is now healthy and back in top form just in time for what really matters. That means playing cards and talking smack.
The Elegance offers his own breakdown of the final table:
We'll start with
The Needle's bold prediction of a 1-2 finish for himself and The Joker. The Needle's solid play has been comprimised by his frustration during a couple of four-week dry spells. He has routinely played out of character and tried some ridiculous moves, costing him in a J-Cock like manner. His latest bragadocious remarks just prove the point that he is desperate to change things up. His best days are behind him.
The Joker: May have played better this season, but how could he not? Late-season run kept him from missing the final table and probably slitting his own wrists. Better known as Schleprock in most poker circles, Joker's bad luck no doubt has a hold on his dome. No shot at a title.
Suits: The Needle so passionately defends the play of Milenko. Nobody in the history of the game (not just the omnigalactic) has caught more cards to get where he is. When he didn't make an exit in the first 15 minutes of the tournament, it was only because he sucked out on somebody. Harsh or not, Suits will squander his chips faster than anybody at the final table. But he still might slam the table, feeling as if he's played well. No threat.
Boy George: Played very solid early on. But made his name this season while The Elegance was otherwise occupied. Fear of a heads up match against The Elegance will keep Brandon off his game. As he saw in his own home, he's no match for The Great One.
The Plumber: Flush his chances down the toilet. Afraid to get involved in any big hands, his stack diminishes slowly and he finishes third. Awesome! Everybody remembers who finishes third. Most consistent player? Most consistent non-winner. Guaranteed to finish in the Top 8.
J-Cock: Well, at least he did a good job with the standings. Hopefully, he'll show up for the final after another night of drinking. Normally, thinks he's invincible playing all sorts of rags, but the booze guarantees a boneheaded move. More concerned with The Elegance's performance than his own (understandable). Look for a blunder to cost him early and never really get the chance to be crushed by The Elegance. Not patient enough to win.
J-Dug or Tareq: If Dugger pulls out the miracle at the Satellite, he'll have shot his wad. Impossible for him to put together two strong finishes. Too inconsistent. One day he'll fold KK to a short stack, the next he'll push with KJ early with the chip leader on the big blind. Players have given Tareq more credit than he deserves. Turns out he's been catching some major cards to finish second twice at the Satellite. Not a factor playing with the best of the best.
The Elegance: Clearly the best player in the series. His reads, plays and just knowledge of the game are unmatched. The commissioner's blunder of blind schemes at the final table plays right into The Great One's hands. He will have plenty of time to make up ground on the players who took advantage of him missing five events. Would no doubt be the chip leader had he been present every week.
Fear is the key word heading into Monday night. Most of the table fears the presence of The Elegance. All will be rooting against him. But that is where The Great One thrives.
See everybody Monday. Good luck. You'll need it.
